You’ve been Summoned (Sounds like a "Murder She Wrote" Mystery)

I have been summoned for jury duty once again, this past week. Great. I guess that it must have been two years already!

I looked at the date and it is right in the middle of my project or all of my projects. My first thought of course, was to postpone – after my projects are completed, which will be around December. Ugh, I did that before and I ended up serving in a jury during Christmas. Not fun! The only advantage was that  I was still on dialysis back then and the dialysis center was between courts and home; so, I had an easier commute.

Looking at it again, I thought that I could wait until January. If I do that, my projects will be done, my manager will be assigning me something new to work on, and it will be almost a year after my transplant.

Wait – my transplant! Sometimes I forget that I only had a transplant nine months ago.

I’ve been doing really well. Sometimes I even compare my current activities to what I did before I was diagnosed and often find myself, pushing my limits too much. I am actually, still feeling some of the side effects. As an example, my scar still hurts occasionally (I feel a little like Harry Potter: when my scar hurts, Lord Voldemort or something dangerous may be coming soon). Also, I just recently realized that my body is still adjusting to my various medications; which is why I feel tired when I wake up in the morning and still need an afternoon nap or two (or a caffeine fix).

With that, I wondered if I could get excused for this round of service for medical reasons. I’ve never really considered that before, so I am not sure what the requirements are. After all, this is happening during flu season, and I really should minimize being in public during this time and even into January or maybe February.

Don’t get me wrong: I do believe that everyone should serve in a jury. When I served, I found the process to be educational and interesting. I will admit though: there was a lot of sitting down, debating, and waiting. I probably made forty origami cranes (out of Ricola candy wrappers) while we were waiting… and those were tiny cranes. And having it during the Christmas break really-really sucked. We almost postponed our Holiday ski trip – something that I really looked forward to when I was in dialysis. It was my favorite escape.

I am contacting my nephrologist to see if an excuse is possible this time. If not, I’ll postpone until next year. Fingers crossed.... otherwise, I would be adding to the flock.

Slowing Down

During my Nidan demo a few weeks back, my sempai mentioned that I needed to slow down – feel the blend, feel the connection before applying the technique. After my test, I did feel that I rushed through my demo. In fact, even my training partner said that I was throwing her so fast, that she was exhausted after my demo.

For some weird, perhaps cosmic, way, I am finding that the “slow down” theme resonated through the month. With my working long hours, it helped me cope with all my work, extra-curricular activities and in keeping my health in check. 

The obvious example is applying it to aikido. I have been quite exhausted at work and going to class tired. However, when I made an effort to warm up (a bit), meditate before class, and take a deep breath before each technique, the experience becomes more profound and more meaningful. It became a completely different experience.

I am taking the same approach at work. We are slammed because of an upcoming software release. Tasks and more issues are coming left and right. However, if I focus on each task at hand and avoid multitasking, I find that I feel more productive… and probably finish my work faster, at a higher quality.

The same applies to maintaining my health. When I take my meds, I try my best to be mindful and just focus on that. When I do that, I find that I make better note of what I took and take them on time.

I also try to be more focused when preparing my food. I find that it is more relaxing if I take my time when I am preparing food or cooking. It’s like a moving meditation. Even chopping seems to have a deeper meaning: I learned to appreciate the colors and texture of what I am chopping and not rushing through preparing a meal.

As I slow down, everyday things seem to have more meaning and substance. I am able to see subtle things that I normally would miss if I were rushing. It made me experience things in a different dimension.

I am still learning and finding more ways to slow down. I am still hurting a bit, and it is important to listen to the signals my body is sending my brain. I must admit it is difficult a lot of times, particularly if you have very limited time and there are a lot of demands on you. It does take time… to slow down and smell the roses.

To My Generous Donor – Much Gratitude

During my most recent doctor visit, I found out some information about my donor. Hubby, for his own reasons, did not want to know, but I needed to. I wanted to know who to thank.

Because of how the doctors described my kidney, I speculated that my kidney came from someone young. It was very healthy, and passed the stress test with flying colors. The doctors were confident that this kidney would be a really great match.

What I did not realize was it was a pediatric kidney, i.e. a kidney from a young person. When my transplant coordinator mentioned this I immediately thought about what the family must have went through in the loss of their loved one and what that gift meant. To lose a child and a grandchild is devastating, and I feel that parents should not go through such a huge loss. Although I am not a parent, I immediately thought about my niece and my sister. How would my sister and my mom feel in that situation? I felt very truly saddened but extremely privileged to be the recipient of this wonderful gift.

I also felt a lot of responsibility. My donor had a short life. Passing away in one’s early teens is entirely far too short, but he or she lives through me. I need to honor my donor by taking care of that gift and to ensure that my donor’s kidney has an enjoyable life as much as possible… through me. I need to take care of myself, be cautious of what I eat, drink, and do, take advantage of what life has to offer, live, love, and laugh.

I have so much gratitude to you, my young donor. Without you, my new life is not possible: Thank you! You are my hero. I sincerely hope you are now at peace.

One last note: there was no other information provided to us about my donor:not where she lived, how she passed, and certainly not her name. Just the age.

Finally Nidan

I had a milestone this week. I just had my nidan (second-degree black belt) demo. I felt I have been preparing for my nidan test for about eight months. However, because of my transplant, I was not able to take my formal test last February (see my original post). Last Saturday, I finally had a chance to perform my demo and receive my certificate.

Right after my transplant, I was not even sure if I could train in aikido again. I was in so much pain that it took so much effort to just move around. Also, I have had to avoid trauma on my kidney “surgery spot,” so I was not sure how I could manage my training.

Slowly but surely, I was able to start training again. First, I just started with weapons class where we do not normally have close contact or take (too many) falls. After I was getting more confidence, I attended general practice once a week, then twice. After all, I had an exam to train for. Although twice a week practice wore me out a bit, I hoped (and still hoping) that I would eventually get used to it.

I did not have a formal test, because my Sensei felt it was not necessary. He said that I was basically ready for my test in February and was already training at a Nidan-level back then. The demo was just a formality.

During the celebration, Sensei gave me a card with Yosa Buson’s Autumn Haiku (see photo in this post). It reads:

Ichigyo no

Kari ya hayama ni

Tsuki wo insu

On the mountain crests

A line of wild geese

And the moon’s seal

To me it represents, a new season, a new beginning, and the continuing journey that I will have in aikido.

Onegai shimasu.

Working 9 to 5

We’re in crunch time mode at work the last few weeks, and I have been working really long hours. Although I have been working from home three days a week, my projects have been taking up most of my time. I barely have time to cook or exercise. Fortunately, my husband still takes care of the household: he even cooks and encourages me time to take my walks or go to the gym. I definitely had no time to tweet, re-tweet, and blog.

I am somewhat surprised that the workday wears me out. Before my surgery, I remember working longer hours and did not feel as tired as I do now. This is with dialysis for three hours, three times a week and regular (but shorter) exercise sessions.

I do remind myself that it has been only a little over eight months since my surgery – not even a year. My body is probably still healing and adjusting. My scar still occasionally hurts, but not unbearable. Sitting eight or more hours per day also now hurts my back. Because of my surgery, I have only been doing minimal exercises to strengthen that area: mostly rotational exercises and light knee-to-chest stretches (at least working my way through it).     

I do think that as long as I continue to keep a few things in mind, I can adjust to my workload without sacrificing my health, and for that matter, my sanity.

Pace yourself: I was Ms. Multitasker before. Now, I am finding that doing two or three things at once is more distracting. I have to focus on one thing at a time and do the best job that I can. I prioritize the items on my list and do them according to priority (or what I can fit in at the time remaining). With this, I find that I am able to accomplish more important things. I also stop when I am getting to the point of diminishing returns, i.e. my brain is too full that I can barely function.

Continue eating healthy: It is very tempting to start eating junk food when working late. I still bring my lunch and snacks to work (Thanks to my husband): lunch is usually a combination of grains, veggies, and healthy proteins like chicken or vegetarian options. Snacks have been granola bars lately (with low glycemic index), but I really should go back to eating a variety fruits in the afternoon.

Take breaks: When I have been sitting for a long time or feeling mentally tired, I find that taking short breaks help me out. I take a short walk, some stretch breaks, and if I am working from home, maybe even take a meditation or hula dance break. After 5 or 10 minutes, I find that I have more energy to tackle the task-at-hand and am more mentally alert,

Continue being active: After a long workday, I find that exercising is helpful in releasing any stress from work or any mental pressure. It helps me take my mind off work and helps me relax in the evening. In fact, each time I go to my aikido or hula class, I sleep really well that evening (Again, I am thankful that my Hubby encourages me to have the time to exercise).

Rest! Although being continually engaged is tempting, R&R is very important. My husband also reminds me that I not only have I been working too hard, but also playing too hard: Aikido weekend three weeks ago then a hula workshop a week ago Although I am one of those geeky people who relax by blogging or looking at Pinterest, sometimes unplugging is really beneficial. Cooking, browsing through a magazine, reading a book, or just napping usually works for me. 

This advice probably applies to every one, but especially those who are coming back from medical leave. I am hoping that crunch time ends soon (hopefully next week) and I can have a semi-normal work life soon.

Enough blogging now… Back to work... On a Sunday!

Take Me Out To The Ballgame!

My husband and I had recently enjoyed a couple of San Francisco Giants games at AT&T Park. The first one was courtesy of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (it was the kick-off event for the Light the Night Walk) and the other, the most recent one was our own choice – the Polynesian Heritage Night. During my recovery period, we bought tickets so we could have something to look forward to after my internment.

Although we were looking forward to the game, I knew one of the challenges would be finding transplant-friendly ballpark food. Both games were night games, so I would want to have a decent dinner. Fortunately, AT&T Park has been known for great food, so I thought it would not be too much of an issue.

Tempting! Cholesterol-wrapped Phosphates!

However, the nutritionist at UC Davis said that probably the best foods for me at the ballpark would be cotton candy or peanuts. However, I wanted something close to real food, so the dilemma continued.

I googled the dinner possibilities at AT&T park and found some options. However, during our first visit, we were in the bleacher seats, and although there were a number of very tempting options, it was quite limited for a transplant patient. Present were the usual pre-made hotdogs and burgers, kielbasas, even bacon-wrapped dogs, but nothing hot or prepared only for me. Given my choices, I opted to get a veggie burger without lettuce and tomato. I figured that would have the least concern of bacterial growth. I also had a Ghiraldelli ice cream sundae for dessert. Yum!

On our second visit, we decided that the safest bet was to have dinner before the game. We opted for something familiar: Momo’s right across the street from the park. My hubby and I shared lamb meatballs to start. He had the lettuce wedge as always, and I had the gumbo, which was nice and warm and quite yummy. Not only did we get hot and delicious food in an enjoyable outdoor café setting, we also saved some money since ball park food can be a bit overpriced. We were so full after that mean that we did not need to eat at the ballpark, except for the obligatory red vines and cracker jacks.

Did you know that the toy in cracker jacks is now a mini comic book. Really?

At the main entrance at Willy Mays Plaza, we found that there are a couple of other convenient sit-down options: Public House and Mijita. Hubby and I made a mental note to check these out next time we’re at The Yard.

One not-so-secret note: According to a post in another blog, if none of these options appeal to you, AT&T Park allows folks to bring in outside food – no questions asked. If you feel like it, you can fill your bag with goodies - either kidney-friendly or transplant-friendly - for the game. That may be the safest, most convenient bet of all.

Play Ball!!

"No" to the Proposed Medicare Cuts on Dialysis

My blog post this week is about the proposal by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) that would cut Medicare reimbursement for dialysis. I am very concerned about these proposed cuts, and how it would impact my friends at the dialysis center. According to one of the articles that I’ve read, these cuts would reduce the reimbursement rate by 10% to almost $20 per dialysis session. Medicare reimbursement already does not cover the cost of dialysis. At three days a week at about four to five weeks per month, that would be at least an additional expense $240 per month.

If I were still undergoing dialysis treatments, these cuts would probably not make significant difference for me. Thanks to my employer, I have excellent health insurance. Since I had been on dialysis for some four years, I did rely on Medicare to pay for 80% of my dialysis treatments. Since the rest was paid for my insurance, I have had minimal costs per treatment and for that, I feel fortunate. However, I am probably in the minority.

I am thinking of the other patients in the center who completely rely on Medicare to pay for their treatments. For someone with a fixed income or are unemployed, an additional $240 per month would be a significant strain on their budget. People on a fixed income already have a difficult time ‘making ends meet.’

I am thinking specifically of the lady who usually sat across from me. I believe her name is Lupe. She is an older lady, and usually has a hard time when she was having treatments.  She did not speak English; so we rarely had a conversation (I am not that conversant in Spanish either).

Lupe had to stop working because her dialysis treatments were making her very exhausted. For extra money (probably really to make ends meet), she made and sold tamales. Making tamales probably also kept her mind off dialysis and her kidney disease. She would sell tamales in the center, and the technicians loved it. They would order 10 at a time and different flavors (she sells them for $1.50 each). I actually had two of them, and they were absolutely delicious.

I cannot imagine what might happen to Lupe if these cuts are implemented. An additional $240 per month would be hard on someone who is unemployed. This may mean that she has to cut on food or worse, on prescription drugs and even on some dialysis treatments.

And it is just not Lupe, it is also Jerry, who has to continue dialysis because he is considered too old and too ill; the Chinese lady who did not seem to have any family who would take care of her, and my husband’s buddy and fellow Pittsburg Steelers fan, who has to keep on working because he has a family to help take care of. Multiply this number with the number of dialysis centers all over the country and there would be thousands of very good people affected.

Dialysis patients are suffering enough - we need to support them as much as possible. As the petition states, “We urge the Administration and Congress to ensure that Medicare reimbursement for dialysis is sufficient to cover the cost of care.” Please contact your local representative through the National Kidney Foundation's Take Action Network.

It is the humane and compassionate thing to do!