Looking Back and Looking Forward...

Looking back, I realized that it has been a little over 6 years since I started this blog. When I started, I was just beginning my dialysis treatments, and I was scared in that new unexpected challenge in my life. I was also new to blogging. Although I still consider myself a novice, now I can at least consider myself a writer.

Back then, I had a lot of uncertainty and frustration. At first, I hated how dialysis took over my life. I was frustrated over the technicians, the nutritionists, and sometimes the doctors.

That said, I also experienced some happy moments and learned many lessons.  I made a lot of friends at the dialysis center. I love my charge nurses and miss them tremendously. 

In some ways, I do miss the downtime. Back then, I had ample time to watch TV or movies, read magazines, or just play games on my phone. There were days when I was so mentally exhausted from work that I just played Tetris all night, draining my phone battery. When I am physically exhausted, I just sleep through it. Oh, the snores at the dialysis center -- sometimes it can be hilarious.

When I had my kidney transplant, I was given a new lease on life. The transplant itself was probably the scariest thing I have ever done so far. I had never been cut open before, much less go through major surgery.  To this day, I do not remember anything of the surgery, I blacked out right before going into the operating room. At the hospital, I felt frustrated and scared, but at least there was hope. My scar always reminds me of that experience. 

Although it was only about two years ago, it seems a long time ago.

Now, my lab numbers look great. My new kidney seems to be doing great. While I still have some issues here and there, overall, things look great. I, no we, had to make (and are still making) lifestyle adjustments: no more sushi (my all time favorite food) or brie (my all time favorite cheese), I have to be careful of hits to my new kidney – so no more basketball or wrestling (not that I have done those things).

I do still enjoy Aikido, and hula and skiing with my Hubby.

I seem to have come a long way since then, although it’s really still just the beginning. I am hoping that more is coming.

I hope to continue to enjoy my new life, continue to improve my kidney function, be an inspiration to those still on dialysis and waiting for a kidney, and most importantly, to relax and not worry or stress too much. I really need to work on that last part.

Because of that, I have been thinking that it's time to start a new chapter in my life. As I promised, my goal since the transplant was to share my new life, so one can see the new life that this new kidney has given me and be encouraged to wait for one and not lose hope. Because of that, I think it would be appropriate for me to start a new blog, and unfortunately, ending this one.

I hope you follow me in my new adventures. Hopefully, it will involve interesting activities, new friendships, and some introspection.

Thank you for joining me in this journey. Without this blog, I probably would have be crazier! This blog has been my outlet and therapy.

Now, let's go on a new adventure!

Taking Inventory 2014

My how time flies. It was really only this week when I started getting in the holiday spirit, just in time for Christmas. Just a couple of days ago, I checked my blog and realized that it has been almost a month since I wrote anything. Not so good.

It’s not that I do not have anything to write: I wanted to write about my experience in my first (major) hula show and how our travel plans are evolving to accommodate my dietary needs (due to the new kidney). My schedule must just be jam packed if I had no time to write those down. Now some of my ideas may have disappeared into the ether.

It has been truly a busy year. Since I am on break this week, I thought that I should take this opportunity to pause and reflect on what I accomplished last year (in no particular order). It should give me some perspective and perhaps make adjustments.

Personal Stuff

• Celebrated 13 years with Hubby. We actually went out of town to one of our favorite places and enjoyed some window shopping and some nice dining out.

Work Stuff

• Supported three major software releases at work. The development and support work on all three were very involved and took a lot of my time.  At one point, I was working overtime every day, day after day.
• Supported several smaller projects and two special projects.

Physical Challenges

• Our First and Second Ski Day Since The Transplant. First was last season in February and the second was a couple of days before this Christmas. This has been our traditional gift to each other and I am glad we were able to enjoy it together. Hopefully there will be more in the New Year. I do have to remind myself to be careful and avoid falls especially on my right side.
• Attended Seven Aikido Seminars. This included the winter and summer divisional training, all three days of the AikiHorizons weekend retreat, and a seminar by Saotome Sensei from Japan. A lot of these were mostly local, but many were for multiple days. As I said, these have been a test of my endurance.
• Participated in my annual hula workshop. Since I joined a halau (hula school) last year, I thought it would be more appropriate to join my hula sisters in the workshop in out of town. My hula sisters and I bonded and got to know each other better. I even reconnected with some of my old friends that I would not otherwise see here locally.
• Participate in my first major hula show. Another test of endurance! It involved two all-afternoon rehearsals in November, another rehearsal the Satruday before the show and the show itself. We did two shows all day Sunday. Although we only did two dances, I was exhausted afterwards, physically, but also mentally.
• Made it to the pool. I had to stop, because winter is coming (translate: brrrrr). I plan to restart late spring.

Culinary Stuff

• Learned how to make overnight oats and that was my breakfast through the summer (and baked healthy muffins in the fall).
• Cooked a lot. Tried to try a new ingredient (or more) every month to explore new foods and flavors.
• Participated in the October Unprocessed Challenge. The challenge is to avoid processed foods (with some exceptions). It really allowed me to look at my diet and fine-tune it. It was hard though.

In addition, here’s my usual stuff:

• Walked at least 4 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time.
• Raised money for the Kidney Walk.
• Completed the Kidney Walk and the Light the Night Walk.
• Went to aikido about three times a week (I skip occasionally)
• …Hula once a week
• Went to three Giants games (and we won the World Series!).
• Oh yes, blogged (but not as much as last year).

Whew! No wonder I am tired.

I bet you that when Hubby reads this, he would greatly encourage me to slow down.

Next post: Reflections and goals.


Happy New Year everyone!

Energy Crisis

I am so glad that my workload is getting a bit easier. The long hours have been really stressful, and I am finding that it really has taken a toll on my health – physically and mentally. It’s not only work that has been taking my time, my other activities have been quite demanding as well. We have been preparing for our holiday show in my hula group, and the rehearsals, new material and costuming can be a lot of work.

Thank goodness my kidney is still in good shape. Through all this, I’d like to think that I am taking good care of it: drinking plenty of fluids, eating the right foods, and taking my medication on time. However, I do notice that my energy level is low, I am more irritable (ask Hubby) and can easily get stressed out.

At first, I was thinking that this is probably due to aging. I am getting older and perhaps I cannot pull the hours that I used to: work 45-50 hours per week, go to aikido class 3 times a week, hula class once a week, workout in between, and contribute my share in the housework.

As I think about it, I realized that this might be due to my compromised immune system. In my last doctor visit, the nurse practitioner did say that I will feel more tired because of my compromised immune system. Unfortunately, this is one of the tradeoffs I need to live with given the kidney transplant.

It does suck sometimes. Often times, I feel I have a lot of stuff that I need to do and so little time to do it. As much as my mind thinks that I can still do it, my body usually stops me and says “um…nap time”.

Some of it may be coming from my need to play catch up from the five years of dialysis and my feeling left out. I just have to remind myself that some of those can wait, and I need to prioritize. Others though are real: work deadlines, chores, studying for hula, and fulfilling my obligations at the dojo. Those I really need to work on.

What I usually do to fix this

Focus. To get something done, I just focus on one task. I used to be the queen of multitasking. Having two or three conversations via chat and working on two things. This was really tempting especially during the peak time of my work. That actually lasted for weeks, if not months.

By focusing, I am able to finish my projects with more quality and perhaps in less time. Besides, there is really no such thing as multitasking; you’re really splitting your attention in little time slices.

Napping. I did not use to take naps. I have way too much work to take that kind of a break. However, these days, I find that I sometimes need a quick 10-minute nap to recharge. That was a trick I learned from watching Dr. Oz. In Dr. Oz’s website, I read “in a NASA funded research, a siesta boosted performance of long haul pilots by 34%.” If it works for them, I suspect it will work for me too. Even in a smaller scale, anything will help. When I work from home, I sneak in a 10 minute nap at lunch so I can get through the afternoon. Otherwise, I sometimes would even take a nap after work to get me ready for the evening. Boy, sometimes I really needed it.

Dark Chocolate. Lately, I’ve been having a half an ounce of dark chocolate to provide a quick boost (Another little trick from Dr. Oz).  This is my favorite. Per Dr. Oz, dark chocolate is full of flavonoids that helps boost energy naturally… and it does work. I've tried it.

I think he recommends at least 72% cacao, but honestly, I find this percentage a bit too bitter. I settle for about 60%. Also, about an ounce is sufficient. Please don’t overdo it…regularly.

Also, if you are still in dialysis and watching your lab results, do monitor and see how the chocolate impacts your results. If I remember correctly, chocolate is a bit high on potassium (or was it my old nemesis, phosphorus). Do watch your sugar too if you are diabetic. I am not a nutritionist, so consult your dietician how much you can add to your diet. Fortunately, dark chocolate has less sugar and dairy.

Caffeine. Honestly, this has been my go-to choice for the past year. However, I am finding that I cannot have too much coffee anymore because it does give me abdominal discomfort. I wonder if this is a side effect of some of my medications (or just the age thing again). I try to stick to chai or green tea. Occasionally, I will still have coffee (because I do love it), but I consider it a treat.

I am hoping that in the longer term, my body can adjust and I will regain my previous youthful energy levels, or at least 80% of it. Perhaps in time, I will need less immunosuppressants, and I will have more energy. In the meantime, I’ll get rest… and have more chocolate. 

Planning for Adventure

I have not been blogging much lately, primarily because I’ve been working, working, working. Since I’ve mostly been blogging about how busy I have been, I decided to do something about it.

Craving to travel again...hopefully somewhere warm.

Actually I’ve been forced to take time off since I am maxing out on my accrued time-off: I already got to the point of “use it or lose it” – so I am trying to use it as much as possible. However, this had been only days off here and there and often only sufficient time to catch up with chores.

We’ve also been planning on an extended vacation. This is after five years of dialysis. Don’t get me wrong. Although, we enjoyed mini three- or four-day breaks here and there, but it’s not quite the same since there was not enough time to truly recharge.

This will also be the first vacation where we don’t have to plan dialysis time. So, all the time would be R&R. Also, when I was in dialysis, we limited out vacation to the United States only, to minimize dialysis costs (our insurance still pays for it). For the first time, we can consider an international vacation.

At first, I thought that it would be like old times: plan the trip, pack and go (pay for it later). However, travelling with a kidney transplant presents some new challenges for me.

How to bring my medicine? For an extended vacation, I would need to bring a lot of medication – at least enough to cover the days when we are gone – maybe more for back-up. I was originally thinking of packing half in my weekly container and extras in another container. However, I was told that it may be better to pack them in their original containers: it would better chance of passing security and not getting confiscated.

I would probably also put them in my carry-on so there is less opportunity to get them lost. I can pack two sets and have the other one with my husband… again, in case things get misplaced.

When to take my medicine?  Since there are time zones involved when travelling, it can be challenging if the time difference is more than 3 hours. That means that I may need to take my regular medication in the wee hours of morning.

In my last doctor’s visit, I had the opportunity to ask my advice nurse about this dilemma. She suggested that I adjust my medication times before the trip, maybe in 30 minute increments, until I get to my desired time. Then, do the reverse when I get back.

Food Safety. All the food safety rules still apply, even when on vacation. That means washing fruits – with clean water. No buffets. Ensure that your food was prepared in a very safe manner. To be on the safe side, I may bring a lot of granola or protein bars. That will at least ensure that I have something to eat during the day.

I am also concerned on how to let my family know about my limitations. They have not seen me in a while. I feel my diet is quite strict and I am not sure how other people will adjust.

Water Hygiene. Another factor to consider is safe water. Although I still need to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, there are many parts of the world where water may be a bit iffy to drink. For me, that may mean only bottled water. Filtered water (with my own filters) may be okay too. I need to check with the nutritionists.

We’re really excited about travelling again. It has been too long since we’ve explored other cultures and see the wonders of the world. We are really looking forward to it.