Gratitude Journal - 2014

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I feel like I’ve been living in a bubble the past few months. Other than some scheduled seminars, one or two lunches with friends, seeing a movie or two with Hubby, or I haven’t really had quality time to spend time on the things that I enjoy. Work has taken over most of my time. I have had very little time to cook – mostly just for sustenance or write.

The past few weeks have been extra challenging: in my schedule but also physically and mentally. In spite of that, I truly feel grateful. I think it was last week when the Gratitude challenge was trending on Facebook. One of my friends took it and challenged all of her friends (cheating I think… you are only supposed to tag three).

I took the challenge, but kept it in my personal journal in the hope of sharing it in this blog. I grateful that I found time this week to share it. I have been given a small pocket of free time when I can just write.

Since my 5-day gratitude list seems a bit long, I will just list my highlights, in no particular order.

I am grateful for my medications. It’s really funny to start with this, but I should give some context. I was very sick for about a week. At first, I was just attributing it to “that time of the month” but it was getting worse and worse. I do not have an appetite and was in significant pain. Hubby was suspecting it was a cyst or a tumor or my new kidney. After some discussion with my transplant nurse, an additional dose of my preventive medication helped significantly.  I felt better only after four hours. Although I am one who does not really enjoy taking a lot of medication, I am extremely thankful when it works.

I am grateful for my doctors. My medical team is awesome and last week was a good testimony to it. My doctors were really concerned that I was having pain around my abdominal area. We contacted my transplant nephrologist, my primary care physician, and my OB-GYN. Every one took it seriously, especially my transplant nephrology team since they were concerned that my new kidney was affected. I received a phone call immediately, recommended an additional medication, and for me to do my labs immediately. We had an appointment the following week and the nurse made it a point to follow-p with me personally. I have a great team behind me.

I am grateful for my husband. My Hubby is one of the Team captains of my care team. He forced me to contact my physicians. Without his encouragement, I probably would just let it go for another week and suffer. He even contacted some of my doctors. He’s a good caregiver and partner.

(Just a note: The primary captain = Me)

I am grateful for weekends. Weekends is the time when I can spend time with Hubby. Because of work, we have very little time to spend together during the week. The weekends provide one of those times together… even if I sneak in some work or blogging time.

I am grateful for good food (and an occasional glass of wine). Good food, especially those shared with good company, provides enjoyment. It also nourishes our bodies and allows us to better function. And the company nourishes our spirit.

I am grateful for work. Surprised? I actually am too. This entry was on a day when I had a really challenging task. Not only does work provide much needed financial and medical support (through health benefits), but also allows me to flex and stretch my mind. I work with smart people so often the collaboration and the exchange of ideas can be stimulating. For me, work can also provide enjoyment. It is hard, but usually laugh to make the tough times a bit easier.

We also had some recent changes at work and I am very grateful that I still am working. I did write this on my gratitude journal prior to that.

I am grateful for humor. Laughing and jokes help me through the tough days –- work and health.  When I was sick, a good sitcom or late night TV usually made me forget my worries for a while. Big Bang Theory or Tonight Show usually did the trick. Actually, tonight we're watching "Young Frankenstein"... it's that movie's 40th anniversary.

In my journal, I also thanked my teachers, in aikido, in hula and in other disciplines that guided me through my journey in life so far. I still have a lot to learn though… but I think that is what life is about.

A Test of Endurance

Blogger’s Note: One of the main reasons that I continue to blog is to share how my life is after the kidney transplant. After transplant, I expected to be able to do EVERYTHING that I used to do and "with much more gusto".

While it has been over a year and a half, I still am getting used to moving with my new kidney. I think part of it is that I choose to continue with activities that require me to adjust my movement - primarily martial arts. I have not even resumed my water activities, so hopefully we will soon see how that is affected. 

Also, I recently learned that because of my lowered immune system, I would get tired more (Thanks Dr. Oz), which is probably why I cannot do as much as used to do before dialysis "with gusto".

Plus, I am getting older. Anyways, here goes…

Last weekend (23rd through 25th of August) was a great aikido weekend in the San Francisco Bay Area. Our division headquarters, Aikido of San Leandro celebrated their 30^th anniversary. It was a big deal: yudanshas (black belts) who have been training forever attended the celebration, high ranking teachers demonstrated, and long parties afterwards. It was a long but enjoyable weekend.

However, I knew that weekend would be a challenge to my energy level: we started training Friday night, then prepare for the long day of training and demonstrations on Saturday, then the potluck afterwards, and then Sunday’s All-Division training all the way to the other side of the bay (about an hour’s drive away… maybe an hour and a half). To add to that, we had a special guest instructor Monday evening, arranged by our sensei Sunday afternoon, so I knew I had to update our website and also attend class Monday night.

I had to plan. I was just going to leave work early on Friday, go and train, and rest for Saturday. However, the potluck was going to be an issue: for big events like this, I usually bring something homemade, but would keep until after two hours of training and two or more hours of demonstrations – usually something baked and sweet or a huge salad. I can still do it given my schedule, but I would not be getting enough rest – and I knew I would need it. I am still working outrageous hours at work and if I don’t give time to relax, I know there is little chance of my surviving the weekend.

What to do…

Compromise.

I decided not to bring something homemade this time. Although I opted for something store-bought, I went for something unique. Since students from all over the world would be coming to the party, I decided that sharing something from my heritage would be good. I brought Filipino rice cakes: different types. That way, I can try out what rice cake works. It's been my goal to learn how to make those cakes at home anyway, so this can be counted as "research".

I also took Friday off: I did not know how late class was going to be on Friday night so I decided to take it easy during the day, in the event that it will be a late night. Friday was dedicated to relaxation: no meetings, no work, no assignments… just rest, perhaps do something enjoyable, and prepare for the weekend.

During the weekend, I made sure I had plenty of rest and nourishment. I started the day with a really good but quick breakfast: usually a bagel with “the works”: tomatoes, cream cheese, and avocado (I know, potassium and phosphorus nightmare – but I can have it now, and it does fuel me for the day).

Saturday is usually a long day and lunch is not until 3 or 4 pm. I brought a good supply of provisions: nuts, kind bars, bread, and plenty of water, just in case. This was a good strategy since I cannot really enjoy the potluck; it’s almost like a buffet especially with that many people.

I used the same strategy on Sunday. The best thing about Sunday is that it’s a shorter day. Carpooling helped me conserve energy and saved a bit of carbon footprint.

Overall, four days of training was exhausting but rewarding. Not only did I get back in touch with old friends, but connected with my friends at our dojo. Since I carpooled two out of four days: We were able to share ideas, laughs, and stories. Carpooling became a great time to share and know each other better.

As I told my Sensei, it was a sensory and information overload. It was a very memorable experience. Because I was able to rest, I felt I was able to get the most of the event.

Now, it’s time to digest it all….