The call

We were woken up at 2 am yesterday morning with a call from UC Davis. It's my kidney! I am the primary candidate for it!

It's the call that we've been waiting for.

Things started to go through my mind: Do I really want a kidney? Where is my "go" bag? What will life after a kidney look like? We can travel again. I can pursue a Ph.D. Can I still practice aikido? On and on... My Hubby and I had trouble going back to sleep. It was exciting and scary at the same time.

UCD was going call in the morning after they had confirmed with my doctors that I am fit for surgery.  I contacted my manager to let her know what is going on and that I would not be coming to work in the morning.  I wanted to use that time to prepare for the surgery and being in the hospital for an extended time. There were things to do: get money, fill out the disability form, take care of Meow, wrap up work.

But no calls came. We waited and waited and still no calls.  I think the process of waiting is more excruciating. You never know when its going to happen. I worked almost half the day and still no calls. I don't even know if I am supposed to eat.

In talking to the charge nurse at my dialysis center, she shared with me that the kidney may still need to be removed. Also, it may still need to travel - it may be across the country.

So we wait...I even went to dialysis, perhaps for the last time. It's somewhat bittersweet thinking that that may be the last time two huge needles will be stuck in my arm.

We both hope that we both can get a good night sleep tonight, and tomorrow brings better news.

Good night and good luck (to me)!

My Top 10 Filipino Comfort Foods

(This is an entry that I posted in one of my blogs.  Since it somewhat relates to nutrition, I thought I share it here too.)

Now that I have been cooking Filipino food, my husband commented that I always say that every meal that I prepare is my favorite. Unfortunately, he’s right. All these foods bring me back to simpler days where all I needed to worry about were what’s going to happen in the after-school melodramas, when the next Spandau Ballet or Madonna album is coming out, and if I saved enough money to buy it. I did not need to be concerned with sodium, cholesterol, hypertension, diabetes, PHOSPHORUS, or things that we now worry about.

My mom cooked quite a bit when I was little, so a lot of these are her standard meals. My mom was a good cook, and we still get a taste of it when we have a family get-together. We did spend a lot of time at grandma’s (we just lived next door), so some of these are my grandma’s cooking. Unlike moms and grandmas in the United States, my grandma and mom rarely baked. The Philippines is a tropical country, and I would think baking would make the house warmer – something we did not want to do. We did enjoy big Sunday family lunches and extravagant meals at Christmas Eve and New Year’s Days meals.

Here’s my list:

1. Chicken Tinola (Chicken with ginger, onion, and pepper broth): I remember that this was one of my favorite soups. I loved chicken when I was a child and combined with the taste of papaya, ginger, and some heat from the pepper leaves: it was very soothing. I’ve only appreciated the distinct taste of ginger as I grew older, perhaps thanks to this soup.
2.  Goto/Arroz Caldo (Rice Porridge with Tripe or Chicken): When I hear Goto or Arroz Caldo, I immediately think of my long jogs to Greenhills and enjoying a warm bowl after my work-out. This would be my breakfast. Now, I still enjoy a good bowl occasionally after my aikido classes, although the ones here in California are not us yummy as the ones from Greenhills.
3. Anything Daing (Pronounced DUH-ING): Fish was the only thing that came before chicken as my favorite. My mom said I was like a cat – cleaning out the fish to the bone. This version of fish was cleaned, cut in half, marinated in vinegar, then fried. Yes, we do love our fried food. Have a daing na bangus (Milkfish. pronounced BAH-NGOOSE) served with rice, atsara (pickled shredded papaya) or tomatoes with salted duck egg, and you have lunch.
4. Anything Sinigang (Filipino-Style sour broth): Cooked with fish (especially my beloved bangus), pork, or shrimp. I have also seen this with chicken – but they usually call this something different. The sour component can be from tamarind, guavas, or calamansi (tiny Filipino limes). Really soothing, good comfort food.
5. Sarciadong Isda (Fried fish topped with sautéed tomatoes and onions): The Spanish influence in the Philippines can be seen in this dish. Occasionally, mom would add a scrambled egg on top to add to the protein.
6. Paksiw na Isda (Fish in vinegar): Another fish dish: this time its cooked in vinegar, onions, and peppercorns. You need to eat this with rice, otherwise the vinegar can be overpowering. Very flavorful!
7. Pansit Molo (Wonton soup, Filipino-style): I would remember my mom folding the wontons all afternoon. I think I tried to help her once, but my wontons were not folded as neatly as hers (she folded it like an envelope – but with a tail). Being the brat that I am, I would get one or three from the pot as soon as their boiling. Love wonton soup – I love them to this day, except what we get in Chinese restaurants are not the same as my mom’s.
8.  Puchero (Spanish-style stew): Another influence of Spain. This brings me back to Sundays with my Tia Pilar and the family. Tia Pilar would cook a huge batch of this yummy stew of plantains, sweet potatoes, bok choy, chick peas, green beans and pork or chicken. When I was little, my grandpa would sometimes give me a peso or two for the week.
9. Manggang Hilaw with Bagoong (Green mangoes with fermented shrimp paste): Okay, this technically is not a meal, and the translation may not sound very appetizing, but believe me this is so yummy. The combination of sour and salty is so good and addicting. If you are watching your sodium intake, be mindful: the bagoong is packed with sodium. I remember when we were freshmen in high school, my whole class probably finished two dozen green mangoes in one sitting. Thank goodness we did not get a tummy ache afterwards.
10. Kare Kare (Oxtail stew served with bagoong). Simmered in peanut sauce with tripe, with green beands, and cabbage, eggplant and cabbage. This is not Thai-style peanut sauce. I really cannot explain the difference, but there is one. The saltiness of the fermented shrimp paste balances out the peanuts. And if it is cooked right, the tripe is oh so tender. This was another Sunday staple. Again, careful of that sodium in the bagoong.

For those of you who think Filipino cooking is adobo, lumpia, pansit or the occasional lechon, think again. There is more to Filipino cooking than these basics. If you want more info on cooking Filipino dishes, you can check out panlasangpinoy.com (Filipino flavors) or Google any of these recipes.  

In writing this blog, I've found that my diet back then was probably not as bad as I thought: lots of fish, veggies, occasional pork or beef and ending the meal with fresh fruits of the season. If I revert back to eating like that, I'll probably be healthier. I’ve adjusted these recipes to adapt to my current nutritional limitations (reduce the sodium, cut on the fat), but they still remind me of home. Don’t be afraid to expand and explore – you’ll never know what else you’ll enjoy! Mabuhay!

Next blog: my favorite Filipino fruits! Watch out Potassium!

Nurturing

Our orchid, Stripey, is blooming again. I am very happy that it is thriving in spite of losing all of its original blooms. I am looking forward to enjoying its new blossoms in the next few weeks.

Stripey is thriving because of the loving attention that was given by my husband. We originally bought Stripey so that I can take care of it. But as always, I got busy. But Hubby took care of Stripey: watering and feeding it. Now we’re ready to enjoy new blooms again.

Stripey reminds me how my husband has been supportive these last years after my diagnosis. My Hubby has been wonderful. He has taken care of the house, just as he had taken care of Stripey. Since I’ve been diagnosed, he takes care of most of the cooking, the laundry, dishes, garbage, cleaning, and most importantly, our cat, Meow. Most of the time, all I need to do when I get home is sit down, enjoy a meal, and rest. Thanks to him, I’m almost like Stripey: I was down and out, but now I am blooming again and able to help more around the house.

I think I don’t tell my husband often enough how much I appreciate him. I do not think words can express my appreciation enough. 

A body that stays at rest…

At aikido class last Saturday, Larry sempai started class with jumping jacks and some light jogging. It was a very cold morning, and he wanted to get our heart rates up. After about 10 minutes of moving, the rest of the class stopped and grounded… but I can’t. My body just wanted to keep moving.

At that moment, I realized the true value of exercise. Don’t get me wrong. I consider myself moderately active. Even though dialysis tires me out, I try to go to the gym before my treatments, still attend aikido class twice a week, sometimes three, and have my hula dance breaks when I work from home. However, I have not moved that much since… I guess the Light the Night Walk last fall.

Last Saturday, I realized that I should keep moving. If you become lethargic, your body becomes used to being at rest and remains at rest.  What Isaac Newton said does not only apply in physics, it also applies to human bodies too (After all, are we not made of matter?). Exercise helps me clear my mind. Actually, after aikido class or a hula workshop, I feel refreshed and invigorated. My body may be physically tired, but it’s a good tired. It also leaves me in a better mental state with my condition better.

I’ve committed to moving at least 30 minutes a day: whether it is chores, gym time, or working on my abs (ugh). How about you? No buts… Just do it!

Happy New Year

It’s a new year and the beginning of new adventures and challenges.

For the first time in a long time, I took about a week off during the holidays, and my husband and I used this time to reconnect. Our busy lives week after week do not allow much time to do this, plus the three nights for dialysis does not help. With time off, we were able to spend a lot of time together.

It also gave me an opportunity to relax and reflect on the past year. Overall, it has been a challenging year, filled with lots of opportunities to grow and learn: teaching at the dojo, sharing my hula, baking, hyperphosphothemia, kidney walks and fundraising, gigantic water blisters, and lotions with phosphorus in it! In addition to that, we have continuing challenges at work.

I begin this year with optimism. I am hoping that this year would be less demanding, but still filled with opportunity. Most of all, I hope to get a kidney soon.