Taking Inventory 2014

My how time flies. It was really only this week when I started getting in the holiday spirit, just in time for Christmas. Just a couple of days ago, I checked my blog and realized that it has been almost a month since I wrote anything. Not so good.

It’s not that I do not have anything to write: I wanted to write about my experience in my first (major) hula show and how our travel plans are evolving to accommodate my dietary needs (due to the new kidney). My schedule must just be jam packed if I had no time to write those down. Now some of my ideas may have disappeared into the ether.

It has been truly a busy year. Since I am on break this week, I thought that I should take this opportunity to pause and reflect on what I accomplished last year (in no particular order). It should give me some perspective and perhaps make adjustments.

Personal Stuff

• Celebrated 13 years with Hubby. We actually went out of town to one of our favorite places and enjoyed some window shopping and some nice dining out.

Work Stuff

• Supported three major software releases at work. The development and support work on all three were very involved and took a lot of my time.  At one point, I was working overtime every day, day after day.
• Supported several smaller projects and two special projects.

Physical Challenges

• Our First and Second Ski Day Since The Transplant. First was last season in February and the second was a couple of days before this Christmas. This has been our traditional gift to each other and I am glad we were able to enjoy it together. Hopefully there will be more in the New Year. I do have to remind myself to be careful and avoid falls especially on my right side.
• Attended Seven Aikido Seminars. This included the winter and summer divisional training, all three days of the AikiHorizons weekend retreat, and a seminar by Saotome Sensei from Japan. A lot of these were mostly local, but many were for multiple days. As I said, these have been a test of my endurance.
• Participated in my annual hula workshop. Since I joined a halau (hula school) last year, I thought it would be more appropriate to join my hula sisters in the workshop in out of town. My hula sisters and I bonded and got to know each other better. I even reconnected with some of my old friends that I would not otherwise see here locally.
• Participate in my first major hula show. Another test of endurance! It involved two all-afternoon rehearsals in November, another rehearsal the Satruday before the show and the show itself. We did two shows all day Sunday. Although we only did two dances, I was exhausted afterwards, physically, but also mentally.
• Made it to the pool. I had to stop, because winter is coming (translate: brrrrr). I plan to restart late spring.

Culinary Stuff

• Learned how to make overnight oats and that was my breakfast through the summer (and baked healthy muffins in the fall).
• Cooked a lot. Tried to try a new ingredient (or more) every month to explore new foods and flavors.
• Participated in the October Unprocessed Challenge. The challenge is to avoid processed foods (with some exceptions). It really allowed me to look at my diet and fine-tune it. It was hard though.

In addition, here’s my usual stuff:

• Walked at least 4 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time.
• Raised money for the Kidney Walk.
• Completed the Kidney Walk and the Light the Night Walk.
• Went to aikido about three times a week (I skip occasionally)
• …Hula once a week
• Went to three Giants games (and we won the World Series!).
• Oh yes, blogged (but not as much as last year).

Whew! No wonder I am tired.

I bet you that when Hubby reads this, he would greatly encourage me to slow down.

Next post: Reflections and goals.


Happy New Year everyone!

Energy Crisis

I am so glad that my workload is getting a bit easier. The long hours have been really stressful, and I am finding that it really has taken a toll on my health – physically and mentally. It’s not only work that has been taking my time, my other activities have been quite demanding as well. We have been preparing for our holiday show in my hula group, and the rehearsals, new material and costuming can be a lot of work.

Thank goodness my kidney is still in good shape. Through all this, I’d like to think that I am taking good care of it: drinking plenty of fluids, eating the right foods, and taking my medication on time. However, I do notice that my energy level is low, I am more irritable (ask Hubby) and can easily get stressed out.

At first, I was thinking that this is probably due to aging. I am getting older and perhaps I cannot pull the hours that I used to: work 45-50 hours per week, go to aikido class 3 times a week, hula class once a week, workout in between, and contribute my share in the housework.

As I think about it, I realized that this might be due to my compromised immune system. In my last doctor visit, the nurse practitioner did say that I will feel more tired because of my compromised immune system. Unfortunately, this is one of the tradeoffs I need to live with given the kidney transplant.

It does suck sometimes. Often times, I feel I have a lot of stuff that I need to do and so little time to do it. As much as my mind thinks that I can still do it, my body usually stops me and says “um…nap time”.

Some of it may be coming from my need to play catch up from the five years of dialysis and my feeling left out. I just have to remind myself that some of those can wait, and I need to prioritize. Others though are real: work deadlines, chores, studying for hula, and fulfilling my obligations at the dojo. Those I really need to work on.

What I usually do to fix this

Focus. To get something done, I just focus on one task. I used to be the queen of multitasking. Having two or three conversations via chat and working on two things. This was really tempting especially during the peak time of my work. That actually lasted for weeks, if not months.

By focusing, I am able to finish my projects with more quality and perhaps in less time. Besides, there is really no such thing as multitasking; you’re really splitting your attention in little time slices.

Napping. I did not use to take naps. I have way too much work to take that kind of a break. However, these days, I find that I sometimes need a quick 10-minute nap to recharge. That was a trick I learned from watching Dr. Oz. In Dr. Oz’s website, I read “in a NASA funded research, a siesta boosted performance of long haul pilots by 34%.” If it works for them, I suspect it will work for me too. Even in a smaller scale, anything will help. When I work from home, I sneak in a 10 minute nap at lunch so I can get through the afternoon. Otherwise, I sometimes would even take a nap after work to get me ready for the evening. Boy, sometimes I really needed it.

Dark Chocolate. Lately, I’ve been having a half an ounce of dark chocolate to provide a quick boost (Another little trick from Dr. Oz).  This is my favorite. Per Dr. Oz, dark chocolate is full of flavonoids that helps boost energy naturally… and it does work. I've tried it.

I think he recommends at least 72% cacao, but honestly, I find this percentage a bit too bitter. I settle for about 60%. Also, about an ounce is sufficient. Please don’t overdo it…regularly.

Also, if you are still in dialysis and watching your lab results, do monitor and see how the chocolate impacts your results. If I remember correctly, chocolate is a bit high on potassium (or was it my old nemesis, phosphorus). Do watch your sugar too if you are diabetic. I am not a nutritionist, so consult your dietician how much you can add to your diet. Fortunately, dark chocolate has less sugar and dairy.

Caffeine. Honestly, this has been my go-to choice for the past year. However, I am finding that I cannot have too much coffee anymore because it does give me abdominal discomfort. I wonder if this is a side effect of some of my medications (or just the age thing again). I try to stick to chai or green tea. Occasionally, I will still have coffee (because I do love it), but I consider it a treat.

I am hoping that in the longer term, my body can adjust and I will regain my previous youthful energy levels, or at least 80% of it. Perhaps in time, I will need less immunosuppressants, and I will have more energy. In the meantime, I’ll get rest… and have more chocolate. 

Planning for Adventure

I have not been blogging much lately, primarily because I’ve been working, working, working. Since I’ve mostly been blogging about how busy I have been, I decided to do something about it.

Craving to travel again...hopefully somewhere warm.

Actually I’ve been forced to take time off since I am maxing out on my accrued time-off: I already got to the point of “use it or lose it” – so I am trying to use it as much as possible. However, this had been only days off here and there and often only sufficient time to catch up with chores.

We’ve also been planning on an extended vacation. This is after five years of dialysis. Don’t get me wrong. Although, we enjoyed mini three- or four-day breaks here and there, but it’s not quite the same since there was not enough time to truly recharge.

This will also be the first vacation where we don’t have to plan dialysis time. So, all the time would be R&R. Also, when I was in dialysis, we limited out vacation to the United States only, to minimize dialysis costs (our insurance still pays for it). For the first time, we can consider an international vacation.

At first, I thought that it would be like old times: plan the trip, pack and go (pay for it later). However, travelling with a kidney transplant presents some new challenges for me.

How to bring my medicine? For an extended vacation, I would need to bring a lot of medication – at least enough to cover the days when we are gone – maybe more for back-up. I was originally thinking of packing half in my weekly container and extras in another container. However, I was told that it may be better to pack them in their original containers: it would better chance of passing security and not getting confiscated.

I would probably also put them in my carry-on so there is less opportunity to get them lost. I can pack two sets and have the other one with my husband… again, in case things get misplaced.

When to take my medicine?  Since there are time zones involved when travelling, it can be challenging if the time difference is more than 3 hours. That means that I may need to take my regular medication in the wee hours of morning.

In my last doctor’s visit, I had the opportunity to ask my advice nurse about this dilemma. She suggested that I adjust my medication times before the trip, maybe in 30 minute increments, until I get to my desired time. Then, do the reverse when I get back.

Food Safety. All the food safety rules still apply, even when on vacation. That means washing fruits – with clean water. No buffets. Ensure that your food was prepared in a very safe manner. To be on the safe side, I may bring a lot of granola or protein bars. That will at least ensure that I have something to eat during the day.

I am also concerned on how to let my family know about my limitations. They have not seen me in a while. I feel my diet is quite strict and I am not sure how other people will adjust.

Water Hygiene. Another factor to consider is safe water. Although I still need to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, there are many parts of the world where water may be a bit iffy to drink. For me, that may mean only bottled water. Filtered water (with my own filters) may be okay too. I need to check with the nutritionists.

We’re really excited about travelling again. It has been too long since we’ve explored other cultures and see the wonders of the world. We are really looking forward to it.

Gratitude Journal - 2014

 Image courtesy of Felixco, Inc.
 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I feel like I’ve been living in a bubble the past few months. Other than some scheduled seminars, one or two lunches with friends, seeing a movie or two with Hubby, or I haven’t really had quality time to spend time on the things that I enjoy. Work has taken over most of my time. I have had very little time to cook – mostly just for sustenance or write.

The past few weeks have been extra challenging: in my schedule but also physically and mentally. In spite of that, I truly feel grateful. I think it was last week when the Gratitude challenge was trending on Facebook. One of my friends took it and challenged all of her friends (cheating I think… you are only supposed to tag three).

I took the challenge, but kept it in my personal journal in the hope of sharing it in this blog. I grateful that I found time this week to share it. I have been given a small pocket of free time when I can just write.

Since my 5-day gratitude list seems a bit long, I will just list my highlights, in no particular order.

I am grateful for my medications. It’s really funny to start with this, but I should give some context. I was very sick for about a week. At first, I was just attributing it to “that time of the month” but it was getting worse and worse. I do not have an appetite and was in significant pain. Hubby was suspecting it was a cyst or a tumor or my new kidney. After some discussion with my transplant nurse, an additional dose of my preventive medication helped significantly.  I felt better only after four hours. Although I am one who does not really enjoy taking a lot of medication, I am extremely thankful when it works.

I am grateful for my doctors. My medical team is awesome and last week was a good testimony to it. My doctors were really concerned that I was having pain around my abdominal area. We contacted my transplant nephrologist, my primary care physician, and my OB-GYN. Every one took it seriously, especially my transplant nephrology team since they were concerned that my new kidney was affected. I received a phone call immediately, recommended an additional medication, and for me to do my labs immediately. We had an appointment the following week and the nurse made it a point to follow-p with me personally. I have a great team behind me.

I am grateful for my husband. My Hubby is one of the Team captains of my care team. He forced me to contact my physicians. Without his encouragement, I probably would just let it go for another week and suffer. He even contacted some of my doctors. He’s a good caregiver and partner.

(Just a note: The primary captain = Me)

I am grateful for weekends. Weekends is the time when I can spend time with Hubby. Because of work, we have very little time to spend together during the week. The weekends provide one of those times together… even if I sneak in some work or blogging time.

I am grateful for good food (and an occasional glass of wine). Good food, especially those shared with good company, provides enjoyment. It also nourishes our bodies and allows us to better function. And the company nourishes our spirit.

I am grateful for work. Surprised? I actually am too. This entry was on a day when I had a really challenging task. Not only does work provide much needed financial and medical support (through health benefits), but also allows me to flex and stretch my mind. I work with smart people so often the collaboration and the exchange of ideas can be stimulating. For me, work can also provide enjoyment. It is hard, but usually laugh to make the tough times a bit easier.

We also had some recent changes at work and I am very grateful that I still am working. I did write this on my gratitude journal prior to that.

I am grateful for humor. Laughing and jokes help me through the tough days –- work and health.  When I was sick, a good sitcom or late night TV usually made me forget my worries for a while. Big Bang Theory or Tonight Show usually did the trick. Actually, tonight we're watching "Young Frankenstein"... it's that movie's 40th anniversary.

In my journal, I also thanked my teachers, in aikido, in hula and in other disciplines that guided me through my journey in life so far. I still have a lot to learn though… but I think that is what life is about.

A Test of Endurance

Blogger’s Note: One of the main reasons that I continue to blog is to share how my life is after the kidney transplant. After transplant, I expected to be able to do EVERYTHING that I used to do and "with much more gusto".

While it has been over a year and a half, I still am getting used to moving with my new kidney. I think part of it is that I choose to continue with activities that require me to adjust my movement - primarily martial arts. I have not even resumed my water activities, so hopefully we will soon see how that is affected. 

Also, I recently learned that because of my lowered immune system, I would get tired more (Thanks Dr. Oz), which is probably why I cannot do as much as used to do before dialysis "with gusto".

Plus, I am getting older. Anyways, here goes…

Last weekend (23rd through 25th of August) was a great aikido weekend in the San Francisco Bay Area. Our division headquarters, Aikido of San Leandro celebrated their 30^th anniversary. It was a big deal: yudanshas (black belts) who have been training forever attended the celebration, high ranking teachers demonstrated, and long parties afterwards. It was a long but enjoyable weekend.

However, I knew that weekend would be a challenge to my energy level: we started training Friday night, then prepare for the long day of training and demonstrations on Saturday, then the potluck afterwards, and then Sunday’s All-Division training all the way to the other side of the bay (about an hour’s drive away… maybe an hour and a half). To add to that, we had a special guest instructor Monday evening, arranged by our sensei Sunday afternoon, so I knew I had to update our website and also attend class Monday night.

I had to plan. I was just going to leave work early on Friday, go and train, and rest for Saturday. However, the potluck was going to be an issue: for big events like this, I usually bring something homemade, but would keep until after two hours of training and two or more hours of demonstrations – usually something baked and sweet or a huge salad. I can still do it given my schedule, but I would not be getting enough rest – and I knew I would need it. I am still working outrageous hours at work and if I don’t give time to relax, I know there is little chance of my surviving the weekend.

What to do…

Compromise.

I decided not to bring something homemade this time. Although I opted for something store-bought, I went for something unique. Since students from all over the world would be coming to the party, I decided that sharing something from my heritage would be good. I brought Filipino rice cakes: different types. That way, I can try out what rice cake works. It's been my goal to learn how to make those cakes at home anyway, so this can be counted as "research".

I also took Friday off: I did not know how late class was going to be on Friday night so I decided to take it easy during the day, in the event that it will be a late night. Friday was dedicated to relaxation: no meetings, no work, no assignments… just rest, perhaps do something enjoyable, and prepare for the weekend.

During the weekend, I made sure I had plenty of rest and nourishment. I started the day with a really good but quick breakfast: usually a bagel with “the works”: tomatoes, cream cheese, and avocado (I know, potassium and phosphorus nightmare – but I can have it now, and it does fuel me for the day).

Saturday is usually a long day and lunch is not until 3 or 4 pm. I brought a good supply of provisions: nuts, kind bars, bread, and plenty of water, just in case. This was a good strategy since I cannot really enjoy the potluck; it’s almost like a buffet especially with that many people.

I used the same strategy on Sunday. The best thing about Sunday is that it’s a shorter day. Carpooling helped me conserve energy and saved a bit of carbon footprint.

Overall, four days of training was exhausting but rewarding. Not only did I get back in touch with old friends, but connected with my friends at our dojo. Since I carpooled two out of four days: We were able to share ideas, laughs, and stories. Carpooling became a great time to share and know each other better.

As I told my Sensei, it was a sensory and information overload. It was a very memorable experience. Because I was able to rest, I felt I was able to get the most of the event.

Now, it’s time to digest it all….