You’ve been Summoned (Sounds like a "Murder She Wrote" Mystery)

I have been summoned for jury duty once again, this past week. Great. I guess that it must have been two years already!

I looked at the date and it is right in the middle of my project or all of my projects. My first thought of course, was to postpone – after my projects are completed, which will be around December. Ugh, I did that before and I ended up serving in a jury during Christmas. Not fun! The only advantage was that  I was still on dialysis back then and the dialysis center was between courts and home; so, I had an easier commute.

Looking at it again, I thought that I could wait until January. If I do that, my projects will be done, my manager will be assigning me something new to work on, and it will be almost a year after my transplant.

Wait – my transplant! Sometimes I forget that I only had a transplant nine months ago.

I’ve been doing really well. Sometimes I even compare my current activities to what I did before I was diagnosed and often find myself, pushing my limits too much. I am actually, still feeling some of the side effects. As an example, my scar still hurts occasionally (I feel a little like Harry Potter: when my scar hurts, Lord Voldemort or something dangerous may be coming soon). Also, I just recently realized that my body is still adjusting to my various medications; which is why I feel tired when I wake up in the morning and still need an afternoon nap or two (or a caffeine fix).

With that, I wondered if I could get excused for this round of service for medical reasons. I’ve never really considered that before, so I am not sure what the requirements are. After all, this is happening during flu season, and I really should minimize being in public during this time and even into January or maybe February.

Don’t get me wrong: I do believe that everyone should serve in a jury. When I served, I found the process to be educational and interesting. I will admit though: there was a lot of sitting down, debating, and waiting. I probably made forty origami cranes (out of Ricola candy wrappers) while we were waiting… and those were tiny cranes. And having it during the Christmas break really-really sucked. We almost postponed our Holiday ski trip – something that I really looked forward to when I was in dialysis. It was my favorite escape.

I am contacting my nephrologist to see if an excuse is possible this time. If not, I’ll postpone until next year. Fingers crossed.... otherwise, I would be adding to the flock.

Slowing Down

During my Nidan demo a few weeks back, my sempai mentioned that I needed to slow down – feel the blend, feel the connection before applying the technique. After my test, I did feel that I rushed through my demo. In fact, even my training partner said that I was throwing her so fast, that she was exhausted after my demo.

For some weird, perhaps cosmic, way, I am finding that the “slow down” theme resonated through the month. With my working long hours, it helped me cope with all my work, extra-curricular activities and in keeping my health in check. 

The obvious example is applying it to aikido. I have been quite exhausted at work and going to class tired. However, when I made an effort to warm up (a bit), meditate before class, and take a deep breath before each technique, the experience becomes more profound and more meaningful. It became a completely different experience.

I am taking the same approach at work. We are slammed because of an upcoming software release. Tasks and more issues are coming left and right. However, if I focus on each task at hand and avoid multitasking, I find that I feel more productive… and probably finish my work faster, at a higher quality.

The same applies to maintaining my health. When I take my meds, I try my best to be mindful and just focus on that. When I do that, I find that I make better note of what I took and take them on time.

I also try to be more focused when preparing my food. I find that it is more relaxing if I take my time when I am preparing food or cooking. It’s like a moving meditation. Even chopping seems to have a deeper meaning: I learned to appreciate the colors and texture of what I am chopping and not rushing through preparing a meal.

As I slow down, everyday things seem to have more meaning and substance. I am able to see subtle things that I normally would miss if I were rushing. It made me experience things in a different dimension.

I am still learning and finding more ways to slow down. I am still hurting a bit, and it is important to listen to the signals my body is sending my brain. I must admit it is difficult a lot of times, particularly if you have very limited time and there are a lot of demands on you. It does take time… to slow down and smell the roses.

To My Generous Donor – Much Gratitude

During my most recent doctor visit, I found out some information about my donor. Hubby, for his own reasons, did not want to know, but I needed to. I wanted to know who to thank.

Because of how the doctors described my kidney, I speculated that my kidney came from someone young. It was very healthy, and passed the stress test with flying colors. The doctors were confident that this kidney would be a really great match.

What I did not realize was it was a pediatric kidney, i.e. a kidney from a young person. When my transplant coordinator mentioned this I immediately thought about what the family must have went through in the loss of their loved one and what that gift meant. To lose a child and a grandchild is devastating, and I feel that parents should not go through such a huge loss. Although I am not a parent, I immediately thought about my niece and my sister. How would my sister and my mom feel in that situation? I felt very truly saddened but extremely privileged to be the recipient of this wonderful gift.

I also felt a lot of responsibility. My donor had a short life. Passing away in one’s early teens is entirely far too short, but he or she lives through me. I need to honor my donor by taking care of that gift and to ensure that my donor’s kidney has an enjoyable life as much as possible… through me. I need to take care of myself, be cautious of what I eat, drink, and do, take advantage of what life has to offer, live, love, and laugh.

I have so much gratitude to you, my young donor. Without you, my new life is not possible: Thank you! You are my hero. I sincerely hope you are now at peace.

One last note: there was no other information provided to us about my donor:not where she lived, how she passed, and certainly not her name. Just the age.