Just when you think that things are becoming better... things turn for the worse.
My dialysis session did not go as well tonight... in fact, it sucked!
It is no fault of the technicians. My veins just would not cooperate; they couldn't get a decent flow. Three of the best technicians in the center has tried and still no luck! My arm swelled up twice, and it was pretty scary. Lem said that my veins are not expanding, but just the flesh underneath it -- kinda like a bruise. They said that this is pretty normal for younger fistulas.
My life sucks. I still feel that everything has gone into a complete stop. I can't do aikido because of the dialysis schedule, my yoga practice compromised, I have zero time to go to the gym, I cannot travel overseas (what am I going to do for dialysis), I may have to take more time off work to get there on Wednesdays, it just goes on and on... It has got to end!
I really wanted to dialyze tonight because we are going away tomorrow to our annual ski trip. I've been looking forward to this trip. It has been a family tradition. The expectations and excitement were high! Plus, I can get away temporarily from all this -- I can feel like myself again, at least for a little while. We're all packed and ready to go, and now -- poof -- this dialysis session, or lack of thereof, has effectively postponed our trip and ruined my holidays.
Thanks for the Christmas gift, dialysis. I hate the way "this disease" has taken over my life.
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